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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Just Napoleon's LiveJournal:

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Friday, December 31st, 2004
11:34 am
Haven't posted for a while, and now I break the streak for no good reason. Well, okay, here's a reason. I got another nephew on the 21st. I even thought he had a relatively normal name: Jackson. That's until I found out(just now) that it was spelled "Jaxsun." Hukked on fonix wurkked...
When Dante was born, I found his picture on the hospital website along with pictures of all the other babies born within the month. I was highly annoyed by some of the mindless things people name their children. This scenario was repeated with "Jaxsun." Here are a few examples of stupid tags attached to children (half of the fun is the phonetic spellings):
Izayah (appears immediately before Jaramyah in the Bible)
Hunting (just in case he forgets in which state he was born)
Mercedez (10 to 1 says her mother, "Ashlee" has only WATCHED The Count of Monte Cristo)
Brachyn (you named your BOY after a fern, and then neglected to spell it correctly? What an insult to spore-bearing plants everywhere)
The 30- Second Guide to New-age Naming Your Kid:
1. Add as many vowels as you possibly can
2. Surnames aren't just for...surnaming anymore
3. Never make the gender easily apparent
4. Make sure the randomly juxtaposed syllables don't mean anything
I am annoyed quite a bit more than the average Joe where this topic is concerned, but I'm hoping to incite public outcry. I think at least Dmack shares some of my English major irritation;-)

Current Mood: irritated
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
1:25 pm
Nothing quite like being sick
Well, I'll start off by saying this is my first entry in here. I'm not really experienced or very much of a writer in any aspect, but I'll do my best. I feel like I'm being watched or something.
Anyway, the past few days have been very long, I've had a rough time because of the flu. It's going away though, so I'm just greatful to be healthy again. It's just one of those things that can't be appreciated until you lose it for a while. I guess I take it for granted too much and think I'll always be healthy and then I don't eat right and then I get sick and then I think about what I eat and how much I sleep. Then I'll forget after a while. Silly me, I guess.
Chicken noodle soup is the best way to treat a cold. So if you're sick, you better have some handy.

Current Mood: tired
Monday, October 18th, 2004
10:57 am
Here's another chance for interaction- that probably no one will take
Alright, about an hour ago something floppy-eared hopped around the corner of my apartment. Apparently acquired Saturday, "Chubs" is not allowed in this complex. Now, they did managed to kill all of the goldfish in my apartment over the weekend, but I think bunnies are a little more resilient. I think he'll be alive for at least a little while, so you, the reader, may have all the fun of putting your two bits in:
How long will it take for the manager to discover Chubs, thus leading to his eviction?

The closest guess wins...Chubs? Or we'll draw you a picture of him, er somethin'.

Current Mood: tired
Friday, October 15th, 2004
11:07 pm
LJ's are cool
Right about the second week of September we had a lovely time at the Loertscher compound. I may or may not have solicited the help of minors in dumping creek moss on Brad as alleged. The event is chronicled in a series of cartoons. Brad's is the normal-looking one.

Sunday, October 10th, 2004
8:52 pm
I haven't posted in so long I didn't know they changed the interface. Anyhoo...I decided that Brad is allowed to post in here as long as he is a good boy. So welcome Brad.
Saturday, August 28th, 2004
2:40 pm
Cleo passed away on her birthday and her 62nd anniversary (it also happened to be the birthday of Brad's new nephew- yay!) last Wednesday. The funeral today was really special. To start with, J. Golden Kimball spoke. Okay, it was a fellow named Big Al, but it's still the first time I've ever heard anyone swear at the pulpit, lol.
've learned a lot from those neighbors of mine. Cleo was ever cheerful, even when she was in constant pain, and Roy was the most caring husband one can imagine. There's a marital success story, and just across the street! When we got to the cemetery we found that her plot was just a few yards from my grandfather- so they'll be neighbors even in death! It's rare and amazing to have neighbors that feel like family. I don't think it will seem right to drop by like I've always done and not find her there, but I'm happy for her to be out of pain FINALLY.
I feel like ending with a quote so that maybe the next time I feel less at peace my past self can remind me of what a fool I am(it's C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, by the way):
"...Joy...You will see the first among friends and lovers reunited on the eve of a holiday. Among adults some pretext in the way of Jokes is usually provided, but the facility with which the smallest witticisms produce laughter at such a time shows that they are not the real cause. What that real cause is we do not know. Something like it is expressed in much of that detestable art which the humans call Music, and something like it occurs in Heaven- a meaningless acceleration in the rhythm of celestial experience, quite opaque to us. Laughter of this kind does us no good and should be discouraged. Besides, the phenomenon is of itself disgusting and a direct insult to the realism, dignity, and austerity of Hell."
I've been lured into useless cynicism many times in my life. Nevertheless, I find Joy preferable. There's ever so much wrong with the world, but there are a few things that are beautiful and right and it doesn't hurt to embrace them. So, everyone- go eat a homemade cookie, watch a sunset, and give your momma a call.
Saturday, August 7th, 2004
12:14 pm
awake long enough to record- maybe
It was the bes- the wor- it was times. Interesting times. I ended up with strep throat or a close relative this week, and the doctor's final words to me were that I should get lots of rest and avoid stress. So thursday I was up half the night trying to help Alicia and Jan finish the wedding decorations. On the bright side, there was a non-alcoholic reenactment of the "midnight margarita" scene from practical magic. However, unlike what the song would suggest, I received rather than rid myself of a belly ache. Four hours of sleep later, I dragged myself off the floor to go home and get ready and get my bro to work. After dropping him off, I was lightly rear-ended by someone at a stop sign. I think she must have taken her foot off the break accidentally or something. I didn't bother stopping. Hurriedly trying to make my way to the wedding action I was hampered by a detour and then got stuck behind a very ugly stalled van.
You have to be nuts to try to have an outdoor reception in this climate. We ended up having to tie, pin, or tape everything down multiple times. It was probably the nicest setup I've seen, but I would never have bothered. They thought to embellish the tiniest detail which would never have occurred to me- so I guess they were in the wedding business long enough to pick up a thing or two. I hate tulle by the way. I hope I never have to cut another length of tulle.
The other bridesmaids showed up two hours late. One had a decent excuse- her aunt had been in an accident. The other one I apparently did not see the best side of. She spent more time chasing after guys than she did in line(sometime she stood in line to hit on the groom's brothers). Then she went off to have her parents take pictures of her with various backdrops. One by one the people in the line wandered off, and the bride was upset. I stood there until my feet tried to take my lower back hostage(gee high heels are swell), determined to leave my post only upon death or the cutting of the cake.
The night almost ended well. The winds gradually calmed over the course of the evening. While the bridal duo danced 'neath tiki torches and twinkling gold lights I got to take my shoes off. Silly though it be, wandering barefoot through moonlit grass with a satin dress and Frank Sinatra playing is rather nice. Then the sprinklers came on and there was a mad rush to clear everything out. I ended up with two extra bridesmaid bouquets, since the owners meandered off prematurely. I don't want to be a bridesmaid again, but best wishes to Alicia and Ben.

Current Mood: sleepy
Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
7:06 pm
Brides, their mothers, and sisters are Batty!
Limericks provide hours of good, clean, family fun:
There once was a laddy named Lurch,
With a silhouette shaped like a birch.
He built bins all day
For nominal pay
And faithfully attended his church.

There once was a Loertscher named Brad
Who weighed 80 less pounds than his dad.
He loathed to chase cows
And he furrowed his brows
Deciding it's better to get even than mad!

Now, a once-in-a-lifetime offer is knocking at your door! The first three callers, er- posters- will receive one GENUINE personalized
CRAPTACULAR LIMERICK written by me, Spudinski.
And, if you respond within my lifetime, you'll receive- at no extra charge- a FREE FERAL CAT: some of which are only minutes old(yet again, a stray cat is having kittens in our bushes)!!

DISCLAIMER: Spudinski's fabulous giveaways are in no way associated with Ron Popeil, trademark Ronco subsidiaries, or Popeil's disembodied head.

Current Mood: cheerful
Friday, July 23rd, 2004
9:04 am
Big Brother: The Early Years
Nothing's ever quite so delightful as dreaming you're trapped in a totalitarian regime. Needless to say, after last night I feel thrice-blessed.
Somehow I wandered, okay actually somehow my mom wandered into a commune. I think she thought they were a counseling agency. They counseled her out of her mind, alright. There was sort of a Big Brother-like father-figure, but world domination was in its early stages- maybe only 20 or 30 thousand zombies. In any case, I tried to stop my mom from listening to them, but they quickly got her to disown me. so, that covers the clever rupture of family ties and replacement with fanatical reverence for Fearless Leader. Having a modicum of intelligence, and a fondness for free will I didn't adjust to the program very well. This resulted in my getting slapped around a bit, although it took them a while to figure out how unenthusiastic I was- I tried to keep my thoughts to myself for the most part. I met another black sheep, and together we thought we'd mosey off. Unfortunately, the plot was discovered, though my involvement wasn't, and I let the other guy take the rap- apparently I was running in survival-weasel mode. Therefore I was tormented throughout the rest of the dream by my cowardice, later wishing I'd just died along with my co-conspirator. I remember being semi-fascinated at one point with the swelling and bruising on my face. I looked like a very sad chipmunk. My kind, ruthless Big Brother(that wasn't actually his name), a middle-aged man with grey hair and a sweet smile, had a vague idea that I was a little too bright and sought to counsel me with Mr. Fist and Lady Manipulation. They tried to take away my dignity and humanity-explanation not suitable for a family lj-and I narrowly escaped. That honey of a commune had all the fun of a 1984/Brave New World cocktail- rampant violence and a disregard for traditional morality. So, in conclusion, may God smite the earth with His terrible vengeance before it gets that bad. Oh, and Daniel taught me how to add a picture: Actually, my Big Brother looked more like this: Yes, Hollywood's own Mark Harmon.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Thursday, July 15th, 2004
10:15 am
Things that are Tough
My neighbor across the street is dying. Cleo has lived across from my family for fifty years, and she and her husband have been wonderful neighbors. She has been suffering from Lupus for a number of years, and was diagnosed with Lou Gehrigs Disease about a year ago. I never really realized before that so much of the rottenness of death is just waiting. It's bad enough over here, where I think every phone call is THE phone call saying she has passed on. It must be excruciating for her children and especially her husband to just sit helpless waiting for her to go. And these are the worries of people who strongly believe she's going to a better place. This circle of life stuff is messier than some would have you believe.
Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
11:42 am
It's Sharing Time
I don't think I'll ever be one of the popular kids at LJ High. My journal is a little shabby compared to the other kids- they've got polls, links, and, most importantly, pictures nabbed from poorly guarded corners of the internet. Still I'll try my best as a low-budget independent lj maker- it's all about expression;-)
Quite some time ago I promised some of my "It's a good thing" pics. Here's what I can scrape off the sticky surface of my mind:
*Made-for-tv westerns. They aren't something I would have sought on purpose, but I was with dad this weekend, and I think that's all TNT was playing. Several of these westerns(none of which I saw in its entirety) were based on Louis L'amour books, and several starred Tom Selleck and his larger-than-life moustache (here I should include a pic). It still doesn't sound like a winning combination, and I'm not sure I can explain my affinity- perhaps it was a mere whim;-) I think part of it is the quality of the picture: the scenery is beautiful, and the color is great. Secondly, they're a little less raw and depressing than a Clint Eastwood western. Lastly, they're a little less silly than some of the earlier westerns. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a "God Bless John Wayne" bumper sticker sighting as much as the next fellow, but it's kind of amusing that all of his ranch hands are squeaky clean like the Good Humor man, and a woman who lives in a dirt-floor cabin on the prairie always sports full makeup and an intricate hairdo in her sleep. Of course, had I seen an entire made-for-tv western this weekend, I might have come to a different conclusion. Time will tell.
*Bernstein's salad dressings.
*When your lettuce comes up
*Kittens stalking each other
*Discovering that the dog hog-tied himself
Now, I'm afraid I have to include a not-so-good thing. I haven't volunteered at a soup kitchen before, so I learned a thing or two Friday. One of the things that stuck out most in my mind, was that a lot of the people there were developmentally challenged or mentally imbalanced in some way. I realized how terrible it would be to have a mentally or physically disabled child and have to fear for their well-being after I passed on. I know there are a lot of people trying very hard to take care of their fellow man, but it's hard for some people not to fall through the cracks unintentionally. My, but I'm naive.

Current Mood: irritated
Thursday, June 17th, 2004
4:24 pm
What I lack in hair, I make up for in sorrow
Section 1- News
I donated my hair again. I miss it, despite the fact that it's in a plastic baggie in the living room right now. Before I can mail it in, I have to fix it. The lady who cut my hair didn't put it in the pony tail tight enough, so half of it fell out. We got most of it scooped back up again, but part I lost, and the rest I have to re-order strand by strand and place back in the band. Yippee. Well, as pappy always said: "A good deed never goes unpunished."
In news not directly related to me, the following has occured in my area in the last two days:
*A bison escaped from a slaughter house and went on a rampage
*After arguing with one of a local bar's patrons, a man left the bar and returned with a rattlesnake, which he launched into the middle of the bar. It landed under the chair of a man on crutches. Another patron rushed into action, using one of the crutches to fling the snake away from the disabled man, then pin the snake down. He then wrapped the snake's head in a t-shirt and tossed it into a bucket. That's right. Nearly everyone in the this neck of the woods could pass for Crocodile Dundee;-)
Section 2- It's a good thing
To be continued....

Current Mood: sad
Saturday, June 12th, 2004
11:27 am
well, apparently I can't hold my opiates
Well, compadres, I think I'm a doper after all. I'm not precisely sure how this happened. I took less than the recommended dosage of hydrocodone for four days. I'm not particularly cranky, shaky, and I don't want any more. The only problem comes with cover of darkness. I haven't been able to sleep much for two nights, though I desperately wanted to. I toss, I turn, I groan, and about 3:00 am last night I started singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" for some reason. I did nod off a couple of times, but was awakened every time by a crazy psychoactive dream or hallucination: once I dreamt a guy was hacking at me and my sister (I had a Mexican sister named Maria- that's how weird it got) with an Axe, once I thought someone was knocking at my door, and once I thought people were whispering in my room. Mmm hmm. I finally got to sleep about 4:30 or 5:00, and had a wacky dream that would probably only interest someone of the Loertscher persuasion, so I will cease to describe. The sleeping ended at 8:00 approx. when Matt came running up the stairs. In conclusion, even if the doctor tells you it's perfectly safe, and even if you haven't taken enough of an opiate to possibly make any difference, stop the drugs as soon as you can bear the pain with over-the-counter drugs, hypnosis, acupuncture, or chocolate.

Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
6:12 pm
While You Were Out
In anticipation of my little operation yesterday, I asked everyone I knew about when they had their wisdom teeth out. Apparently everyone I know, and by overgeneralizing I'll state everyone in the world, was sedated for this- meaning unconscious. Well, I was wide awake, albeit with my eyes closed, so I feel it my duty to relate to you the harrowing experience so you'll know what you missed;-):
To begin with, my mother was banned from the room. She thought it'd be fun to watch, and the notion of my own mother being a wholly unsympathetic spectator eating popcorn while I bled was not amusing. Secondly, the assistant tried to start me on N20, but the mask was too big and all of the lovely gas just poured into my eye. Several smaller masks later, I was inhaling artificial strawberry scent. I tried to crack a joke about Strawberry Fields, but alas that was waaay before Kimberly, or Ashley, or Staci or whatever her name was's time. My fingers and toes became tingly, and I started trembling with cold, so they gave me a blankie. It was right about this point when I discovered the music on my headphones was, for the most part, really lame. The doctor enters, and my eyes close. There is much jabbing and pricking of the cheeks. A bit later, my tongue is gone and I'm ready for slicing. For the most part, I couldn't tell what they were doing in there. I think there was a little pricking or pinching in certain areas of the incision, but other than that it was painless. The tooth prying, however, is noticeable. The "slight pressure" actually feels like one's jaw is going to shatter. It's hard to hold one's head still while they pry, wedge, saw, and pry. At one point, I was afraid he was going to take another of my molars with the sneaky underground one, since he kept knocking against it. I'm not quite sure what happened on my bottom left side, but some sort of power chisel/drill/jack hammer was employed, and that side of my face is twice as big as the other. The N20, which I mentioned earlier managed to make me calm, but fortunately not loopy (well, I did decide to write this journal entry while I was in there, so maybe my judgment was impaired). At one point I did feel like I was spinning around- which is odd if your eyes are closed. Throughout the surgery there was a terrible bitter taste in my mouth, which I eventually realized was my own blood. The only reason I knew he was stiching me up was the brushing of the thread against the roof of my mouth. The whole ordeal was only about an hour and 15 minutes from start to finish. I made it out and discovered my entire face was composed of cold, cadaverous flesh- which fact was most creepy. I also discovered that I wanted to talk in sign language because it's waay faster than writing, but no one else understands it. So, when I got home I jotted down the essentials on g'mas typewriter and then carried a notebook around for the rest of the day. At one point I had to remind my mother :"I'm not deaf- I just can't talk" because she was trying to answer all of my questions with her pen;-)
If anyone has any further questions concerning wide-awake dental procedures, please contact me at...well, here.

Current Mood: sore
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
9:37 pm
Please let me float on, please let me float on
Well, Dante was blessed today. He didn't even cry while he was up there, which is a bonus.
I'd just settled down on the sofa after arriving home when my mom screeched that there was a horse loose in our yard. I assembled my gear (which consisted of an apple and a tupperware full of hodgsen mills grain cereal since I couldn't find any oats), and headed down the road to the house past the railroad tracks where I could see him running off to. Upon my arrival, I discovered a long-haired middle aged man I don't know trying to catch him, but with no success. I also discovered that it wasn't one of the horses from our pasture. I don't know whose horse he is. I guess that guy must live in that house (I've only talked to a woman and girl there), or the little shack behind it. It wasn't his horse either, but he seemed to know who it belonged to- and that his named was Willy. So, I set out to catch Willy. Willy couldn't resist the apple or grain bits, and soon we were fast friends. Unfortunately I had no halter, and no rope. I saw some twine sticking out of a shed, so I made willy a halter. Oddly enough, it worked (horses, like people, are creatures of habit- he just had to feel something behind his ears and around his nose), and I started leading him back into a pasture. This worked until his halter broke- naturally, since it was made of lousy twine! Finally, someone with a halter showed up. I'm hoping that the horse runs away again and comes to find me (I learned in Parade magazine that horses can be trained to track people by scenting the air), preferably bringing his saddle and bridle along.
I shall mosey along. Tonight Annie&I are having a midnight teleconference to register, and then at 8 am I'm having my wisdom teeth out:-(

Current Mood: anxious
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
7:35 pm
It had to be who
I was forced to do a terrible thing yesterday. We're transforming the pathetic den into a pathetic shadow of a library, so a plethora of books was moved and categorized. Finally, I faced the facts- that there was no room for most of my books to stay in my sleeping quarters. I outgrew my bookshelf eons ago, and since then had been stacking volumes on the floor and on my cedar chest. No more. I felt like Oskar Schindler, trying to stuff as many books into that shelf as nature would permit, but untimately having to let some go. Why should a girl be forced to chose between Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes? Well, as a result, the collection downstairs has swollen. As I was picking which preciouses to horde in my private collection, I had the fun of perusing childhood favorites- Encyclopedia Brown and Choose Your Own Adventure #5: Gorga the Space Monster rock;-)
I'm sure someone else has heard about the 10 most naturally beautiful women list. Oddly enough, their top 2 would be my top two. I can't imagine anyone ever being more beautiful than Audrey Hepburn. And, at least in LOTRs, Liv Tyler is ethereal(how she pulled that off considering her sire, I'll neverknow). Their other choices made pretty good sense, for the most part. But Angelina Jolie and Cameron Diaz? I really don't think I'd lump them with Audrey and Grace Kelly. Speaking of incongruity, I don't think my mug ought to be plastered on an entry concerning beauty. I'm going to go look for a picture of someone else.

Current Mood: depressed
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
8:43 pm
Why Women Should Rule the World
Well, I meant to have an entirely pleasant entry today, because existence seemed pretty darn positive up until about half an hour ago, when I walked outside to check on my bevy of pets. It was then that I found my cousin and my brother on the roof. What are they doing on the roof?, I asked myself. My question was answered before I had time to consider it. Just then a shot was fired, and a robin fell from a tree. The robin, presumably the mother of the nestlings in that tree, twitched for a while before she finally died. I don't particularly like the boys shooting at anything living, but I have given my consent to magpies, as they go around killing other birds' babies and their squawk is highly obnoxious. It's pretty hard to mistake a robin for a magpie. That's one of my favorite things about boys- I love how they get their kicks by killing things that are small and defenseless. After all, anyone can create something beautiful or useful, but it takes a real man to destroy. Whew, wrapping this tangent up. I'm not saying I'm a tree-hugging gun control advocate, or that if you've ever squashed a bug you're going to hell. I just don't like to see something innocent suffer needlessly.
I'd like to head back to the bright side- although my topic, a funeral, might not seem awfully bright at first glance. I attended Hugh(who knew his name was Hugh?) Max Brighton's funeral with grandma today. He was a born horseman, and he pastured some of his draft horses at our house. I'm so grateful for LDS funerals! You know the person's alright, especially if they'be been suffering, and you can just celebrate their life. Max's friends and family, as is the custom, told stories on him. Some of my favorites include:
*Max attempting to ride his favorite horse, Prince, into Hud's Market and Ruth Hudman chasing him out with a broom
*Max chasing down Veldon Hix and friends when they tried to sneak out of a young men's activity
*A few days before he died, Max telling Veldon he needed to call the bishop and confess- because he was on drugs(pain medication), and he liked it!
I also came out of that funeral with a greater respect and understanding of hard work, generosity, and commitment to family. Not a lot of people these days know anything about being real neighbors, but Max Brighton did.

Current Mood: irate
Monday, May 17th, 2004
9:48 pm
It smells like ozone...er something
I had a really pleasant day. It started off well, with some exceptionally fruitful journal writing (I re-started my paper journal, meaning to put more personal and spiritual-type information)and scripture reading. I spent the greater part of the day quilting at Marlene Quinn's house. Old ladies like me, and I find I'm partial to people who like me;-) I like to hear about the history of my community. Speaking of which, yesterday we drove past the house where my grandmother grew up, and she pointed out the canal where she and her brother used to swim, and where the pond was that they floated their raft in. It's funny- My grandpa grew up a mile directly east of the church, and my grandma grew up a mile directly west. I wish I'd been around in the days of the church bazaar's, the amateur rodeos, and the dances with local bands. We're getting stuffed in closer and closer, and seeing our neighbors less and less. That's "progress" for you.
Later in the evening(I'm back to today again;-)), I wrote three letters while watching Little House on the Prairie with mom and grandma. Afterwards, Boo and I went for a walk in the rain. The clean air looked and felt marvelous, and everything seemed gloriously green in the dying light. It doesn't seem very hard to find something to be grateful for.

Current Mood: happy
Saturday, May 15th, 2004
11:35 pm
I Suppose I Ought to Devote a Slot to This
ah, well, Ashley was married today. I managed to refuse any and all so-called honors which would place me in the public eye, and so became a kitchen girl. They gave me a homely fake-flower corsage to wear. I threw it behind a pile of dishes. That having been accomplished, I strapped on my handy apron (I came prepared with an apron and shoes to change into in case my feet started burning or going numb. I know the other ladies wish they had thought of that-mwa ha) and proceeded to assemble the dainties. A plethora of dainties later, they invited at least half of the inter-mountain west;-), people FINALLY started to leave. At this point I paused to eat four or five chocolate-covered strawberries (stripping half of the chocolate off and spitting it out as I went- I never though I'd say this, but you can overdo it with chocolate). We piled presents into a couple of cars, and then began piling all sorts of useless junk in other cars(you can OBVIOUSLY overdo it with decorations). As many people as there are in that family, they ran out of cars to stuff junk into, so we stuffed mine full too.
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ah, well, Ashley was married today. I managed to refuse any and all so-called honors which would place me in the public eye, and so became a kitchen girl. They gave me a homely fake-flower corsage to wear. I threw it behind a pile of dishes. That having been accomplished, I strapped on my handy apron (I came prepared with an apron and shoes to change into in case my feet started burning or going numb. I know the other ladies wish they had thought of that-mwa ha) and proceeded to assemble the dainties. A plethora of dainties later, they invited at least half of the inter-mountain west;-), people FINALLY started to leave. At this point I paused to eat four or five chocolate-covered strawberries (stripping half of the chocolate off and spitting it out as I went- I never though I'd say this, but you can overdo it with chocolate). We piled presents into a couple of cars, and then began piling all sorts of useless junk in other cars(you can OBVIOUSLY overdo it with decorations). As many people as there are in that family, they ran out of cars to stuff junk into, so we stuffed mine full too. <Side note: I LOVE Jeep Cherokees. Small enough to park, yet big enough to carry a decent amount of cargo. Built pretty tough, with a solid frame and 4-wheel drive, yet not big enough to burn a gallon of gas/mi. Accelerates nicely. THEY STOPPED MAKING THEM. What is wrong with you people?!!! Tangent ending in> I tried to drive back to Ashley's very smoothly, considering I had a 3-tiered wedding cake in the back. I made it with icing in tact. Wedding highlights:
Ash&Travis nearly put each other's eyes out while smashing cake
Ash hitches the outer layer of her dress up and slings it over her shoulder like a saddle.
Ashley directs her wedding bouquet to Travis's wheelchair-bound sister
I'm a little disappointed that I never got to have any final quality time with Ash, and that I didn't get to even say hi at the reception. I did have plenty of time to think about what I would and would not do at my hypothetical wedding though ;-). Cake smashing, skirt hitching, and 50 lb wedding cakes which serve no purpose are definitely out.
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
11:29 am
Please not again
Alright, I've tried for two days to update this journal, and every time the power's gone of in the middle of my entry. It's a conspiracy. Yesterday, the power went off at 8:30am and came back on at 8:30 pm(I called it). Anyway, I had better hurry and confine this entry to "just the facts ma'am';-)
#1- White dogs can't jump. I tried to teach Boo to jump into the back of a truck. He tried climbing in with his front legs, but no jumping. I tried lifting him in- and he taught me that he'd gained approx. 85 lbs. since last summer.
#2- Yesterday friend Brad stopped by and had a nice chat with mum, grand mum, and me. Boo sniffed his lisence plate and then claimed his truck in the name of Bootopia.
#3- Matt invited me to go to class with him(and bring a bunch of 60s memorabilia from home). Mr. Haroldsen's 60s day consists of the following:
A darkened classroom, blacklights and posters(including a VERY cool Jim Morrison), strobe lights, incense, hippie clothes, acid rock, protest songs. The only downside was that they were running on assembly schedule(which I didn't know), and I showed up during the class before Matt's. I kept searching the shaggy heads to see which one was my little monkey bro.
#4- Mourning doves are pretty birds. They sit on the electric wire running to the house by my upstairs window. This morning they were all poofy to keep warm(it's been raining and snowing).

Current Mood: anxious
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